ONE CAFFEINE SHOT LATER

“What’s your fondest childhood memory?”

Right then and there, I could see a surprised look on your face, as if I were the first person to ever have asked you such question.

“I’ll let you have a think about it, and in the mean time I’ll scour through these papers”, I said getting back to the weekend newspaper, smiling, feeling proud (perhaps?) of myself, knowing that I’ve asked the right question, ball’s in my court now.

I’ve honestly forgotten what your answer was that morning. Maybe it was something about your parents? Or how you had to take all sorts of extracurricular work after school? Or how you and your parents always go to a holiday house in the outskirt of town, and tend to the garden, ’cause that was your Dad’s favourite thing to do. I don’t know.

It’s funny how some memories seep through or slip through your mind just like that. No matter how hard you try to retrieve it back, you just can’t. Your brain just won’t cooperate. It’s like trying to look for a folder in your computer drive, which you know you’ve (accidentally/subconsciously/consciously) deleted for good. Done and dusted. Recycle bin emptied.

Some other memories, though, stick for longer. Like how you took my hand in yours for the first time when, funnily enough, we were about to walk in different directions. And we decided not to let go of each others’ hands from then on. Or so I thought. Or how you like to loop your feet around mine in bed, early in the morning when you were deep asleep.

Those memories, fondest memories; what relevance do they have now? Some (my best of friends) say that I should bury them deep at the back of my head and forget them altogether. I chose to believe that, however counterintuitively, remembering those memories actually help me to get better and get ahead. For who wouldn’t find joy in reminiscing happy memories? I may be wrong altogether. My friends would have been right. I may have chosen not to listen to them just because I found comfort in knowing that those sweet memories were once real. Pathetic.

I’m forever indebted to this experience, nevertheless. Knowing where you went wrong, and more importantly, getting to know yourself better are the biggest lessons in life that will help you grow. It was a steep learning curve, but it was worth it.

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